My heart, my love, my life is his alone
But if, but if, but if the truth be known
My hero must stand on a box in our love scenes
God, does he act like a lox in our love scenes
Nelson, what your putting me through

And all of his notes above B flat verbotten
And all of his notes below B flat are rotten
Oh, Nelson, Don't call me, I'll call you

His love making casts such a pall
It's not hard to sleep through at all
His vocal chords carry insurance by Lloyd's and so I might add, should his adenoids
The lights wilt his hairdo on camera he'll primp and quite frankly, his hair isn't all that goes
limp.

Darling Nelson
How incredibly boring, that's not singing it's snoring!
What your putting me through!

A picture of strength, and good breeding.
of course and of passion and warmth, (I'm discussing his horse)
Darling Nelson, don't call me, I'll call you

A symbol of virtue and class
America's sweethearts my ass "A pair made in heaven," the fans love to say
but each time we kiss I swear that he's gay.
In film after film after film I betrothed him, we snuggled and smooched,
and oh God, how I loathed him.

My Nelson,
oh so calming you'll never need embalming
Oh Nelson, what you're putting me through!